Post a Link - Win $$$ and get FREE STUFF!

In celebration of the three-month mark, it's about time for some more Mondesi contests. Seriously, Mondesi, why have you been so cheap lately?

The Steel City Auctions trivia contest was a success, but I felt like trying something different. So I racked my brain and came up with a new contest: The Mondesi Link Challenge.

My goal is to have Mondesi's House linked to as many sites, blogs, and message boards as possible. I think we have such a great, growing community here and even more people should know about it.

The rules are simple: Each time you place a link on your site, mention it in a blog entry, or post on a message board, you will receive one entry in the drawing. Once you have placed the link, send an email with the web address to mondesishouse@gmail.com.

One winner chosen at random will receive a check (or Paypal, if they prefer) for $50.00 upon completion of the contest...but that's not all!

EVERY ENTRY in this contest will receive (1) randomly chosen Upper Deck Steelers Super Bowl commemorative card or Sidney Crosby Upper Deck rookie card FOR FREE, courtesy of Steelcityauctions.com. I'll even cover the shipping. Just be sure to include your name and address along with your email.

I have a total of 500 cards set aside for this promotion, so there is a limit of 5 per household and this is only valid while supplies last. Existing links as of this writing are eligible but must submit their name via email if they are interested in this promotion or wish to receive their free card.

I'll validate every link at the time of posting and at the time of drawing to ensure that there is actually a valid link to the correct URL. I reserve the right to remove any entries which I feel don't comply with this requirement.

The deadline for entries is midnight EST on Thursday, October 5, 2006. I'll post a comment to this article when the deadline has been reached. The winner of drawing will be announced on Friday October 6th. The winner will be chosen totally at random and the winner's name and site will be posted after the completion of the contest. Good luck to all!

Fred-Ex's Chase, A Media Warning, and more

Freddy Sanchez goes into the final two games of the season nursing a five-point lead over Florida's Miguel Cabrera. He will be facing Reds pitchers Bronson Arroyo and Matt Belisle this weekend. The Buccos haven't had a batting champ since Mad Dog Madlock hit .323 in 1983. Other Pirate winners: Madlock, 1981; Dave Parker, 1978 and 1977; Roberto Clemente, 1967, 1965, 1964, 1961; Dick Groat, 1960; Debs Garms, 1940; Paul Waner, 1936, 1934, 1927; Arky Vaughan, 1935, Ginger Beaumont in 1902, and Honus Wagner, an amazing eight times (1900, 03, 04, 06, 07, 08, 09, 11). And lest I sound like Keith Olbermann, Ed Swartwood of the 1883 Pittsburgh Alleghenys. By my count, that's 24 titles, second only to Boston's 31. It certainly helps having Ted Williams and Wade Boggs in your organization.

Year-by-Year League Leaders for Batting Average (Baseball-refence.com)

"Cultural Oddsmaker" AJ Daulerio offers his odds on which ESPN talking head is a little more Kordell than Namath. The omission of Mike Greenberg immediately discredits this piece.

"Who's Your Gay ESPN Sportscaster?" (Deadspin)

Pens goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury, #1 overall pick in the 2003 draft, has one final shot to make the 2006 team. He risks losing his job to the two-headed monster of Jocelyn Thibault and Dany Sabourin. Yikes.

"Fleury to start tonight in last bid to retain his starting job" (Post-Gazette)

Apparently the US-Mexico Border has become a giant volleyball net:

"The First International Volleyball Court" (Deadspin)

Three Months of Mondesi

This week marked the three-month anniversary of Mondesi's House. I must say, it has been an eventful three months, to say the least. The audience has been expanding on a regular basis, and as I visit one of my numerous "traffic counters" this morning, I see Mondesi's House has welcomed 43,737 visitors as of this writing.

With that as the backdrop, there are many thank-yous in order. My first article, "10 Worst McClatchy/Nutting Pirates Moves", was picked up by Deadspin. Since then, I have been linked by Deadspin eight times and asked to write the Steelers Preview, which ran on Labor Day. The traffic they have provided has been invaluable. They are one of the most-visited sports sites on the internet, and their endorsement means a great deal to me.

Locally, I must thank 102.5 WDVE for several in-studio appearances on their morning show to discuss some of my pieces in greater length. The traffic from the appearances and from their website introduced even more readers to Mondesi's House on a regular basis. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette also interviewed me for an article about Pirates-related websites back in June, and have mentioned Mondesi's House several times on their Blog N Gold Steelers site. Those mentions are always appreciated.

The Pittsburgh-related sites have been very good to me, with many sending a significant amount of traffic on a daily basis. Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke, Honest Wagner, Bucs Dugout, and Irate Fans are the leaders, but there are a number of other sites that link here (please check out the right sidebar for a full list). To each of these sites, I thank you.

Most of all, I would like to thank the readers. Without readers, there would be no Mondesi's House. So let me mention some of our outstanding "commentors", such as Worstavid, Louis Lipps is My Homeboy, Bucdaddy, Vinnie, Steeltown Mike, Bern1, TheJim, MiniMe, Polevaultking, and all those who wish to remain "anonymous". Reader participation really adds to the experience, especially in stories like "In Person Athlete Encounters". I thank all of the readers and everyone who emails Mondesi to friends. Your word-of-mouth support has been spectacular.

I also must thank my brother and father for the Mondesi's House logo design, and reader Jeffrey Scherer for animating the logo. I think the logo is one of the better on the web, and I appreciate the assistance!

So where does Mondesi's House go in the future? I would like to hear your likes, dislikes, what you would like more of, what you would like less of, etc. Please feel free to post in the comments section or email me at mondesishouse@gmail.com.

As always, the site is a work-in-progress, as I am still cutting my blogger teeth, so to speak. But I am committed to making this one of the best sports sites on the internet. Sometimes my work in Steelcityauctions.com world can slow me up, but I try my best to keep fresh content for the Mondesi Nation.

I appreciate your readership and I hope to entertain you for a long time!

Don

Terrell Owens 911 Call and more

A certain Dallas receiver has 25 million reasons to live. He had a bad night earlier this week, and his publicist pointed the finger at Dallas' Finest. Here is the actual 911 call that got released...oops. Memo to the masses, lest you forget again: do not mess with Texas.

Owens 911 call (Dallas Morning News)

The Philadelphia Inquirer's Blog cited Mondesi's House in a story about Owens. They must have liked the "starved wolves" comment.

T.O., Take 2 (Philadelphia Inquirer Blinq)

Meanwhile, Deadspin point out the fact that Owens broke up with his fiancee this week. Might have something to do with his disposition.

Still Wading in the T.O. Morass (Deadspin)

That Bill Simmons column I mentioned yesterday? It's safe to say that Bill has lost a few fans over the years

Bill Simmons - The Kurt Warner Of Boston Sports/Reality Show Writing (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Big Ben...Game Manager?

The term "Game Manager" has always intrigued me. It's basically a term the media has invented to describe a crappy quarterback that somehow manages to win games. They're not asked to throw much, just more or less play safe and avoid turnovers. They're not expected to have the ability to throw their team back into the game if they're behind. They're never the focal point of an offense. Kyle Orton circa 2005, Trent Dilfer circa 2000, and Brad Johnson circa 2002 are all famous game managers. Heck, as recently as week one, our own Charlie Batch was asked to manage a game...which he did quite well, as a matter of fact.

Where am I going with this? Well, if the title didn't give it away already, it's the labeling of Ben Roethlisberger as "Game Manager". Would you agree with that label? Because that's exactly what SI.com's Phil Taylor says. Taylor's list of the NFL aristocracy includes Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Carson Palmer and Donovan McNabb. Brady has three rings on one hand, so he should be #1 on anyone's list. Manning has evolved into Dan Marino 2.0 as the annual stat king sans championship, but he has to be included. Palmer has some legitimate upside, and McNabb has at least been to a Super Bowl, so I can't argue with those choices either. But to lump Roethlisberger along with scrubs like Jon Kitna in his article? That's pretty amazing.

Taylor's list of "hopefuls" for the future of the position include Eli Manning and Phil Rivers, two QBs drafted above Roethlisberger in 2004 who have produced less than Ben to this point. Mark my words: Eli Manning will have great statistics when all is said and done. He will have made milllions upon millions of dollars, appear in a few Pro Bowls, and probably be in a bad cell phone commercial. But like every other QB named Manning who has played in the NFL, he will end his career without a ring. Rivers is more of an unknown, but I doubt he will ever be confused with Marino or Unitas at any point in his career.

I realize Ben has looked like he couldn't manage his way out of a Pop Warner game this season, as evidenced by his 0:5 TD:INT ratio, 34.3 passer rating, and 0-2 record. So this probably isn't a good time to argue on his behalf. But as I've said before, those numbers have been more exception than rule in relation to Ben's brief NFL career.

I look at a "Game Manager" as someone who is not asked or is unable to win a game on their own. Roethlisberger, 2006 aside, has won plenty of games as a result of 4th-quarter heroics, as early as his 4th NFL start, a 24-20 comeback win at Dallas. His play in last season's playoffs, when the Steelers came out throwing, was a virtual blindside to Denver and Indianapolis. Those are not plays a Game Manager makes.

I realize we're arguing over semantics, and really, who's Phil Taylor anyway? But this really boils down to the way national pundits view Big Ben. Taylor is not alone in his stance; the reality is that Roethlisberger is not viewed in the upper echelon of NFL QBs. I think fantasy football has a lot to do with this; but I think the Steelers' offense has the most to do with this. Roethlisberger is not asked to throw for 300 yards a game, but as the Colts or Broncos will tell you, he can certainly beat you through the air.

Manning and Palmer can win all the regular-season games and throw for all the 300-yard games they want; just keep giving us playoff wins and Super Bowl trophies and let Roethlisberger fly under the collective radar. Hopefully he'll choose the San Diego game as a reminder that he IS an elite NFL signal caller.

Some required reading

Follow me for a second...Everyone in the free world hates Terrell Owens, probably more than Osama Bin Laden, as recently as yesterday. Then a report surfaces that he tried and failed to commit suicide. So everyone who hated him then felt sorry for him. Then his PR rep basically accused the police of fabricating their report. And now, Owens may play on Sunday. Only one thing is clear: Owens will be like raw meat for starved wolves when the Cowboys visit Philly on October 8.

For ESPN, an Owens suicide threat is like Christmas, the Super Bowl, and O.J.'s Bronco rolled into one. A perceived "must-watch" story from the TV Gods involving a mercurial football star and his alleged off-the-field suicide attempt/overdose is a script no writer could dare dream of. Throw in some controversy with the police, a cranky Bill Parcells, and a game coming up on Sunday, and the script keeps writing itself.

An excellent Owens Recap (from Deadspin)

Terrell Owens Police Report (from The Smoking Gun)

With today's Owens news, a Seattle-based website brings up the story of Ken Griffey, Jr., swallowing 277 aspirin in January of 1988 in an attempt to kill himself. Somehow, I have never heard this story until now.

18 Years Ago, a Suicide Attempt by a Seattle Athlete (from the Seattlest, link via Deadspin)

If you're like me, you enjoy reading ESPN.com's Bill Simmons...on most occasions when he's not in Patriots/Celtics/Red Sox/Curious Guy overload. Today, Simmons chats for around 4 hours with The SportsNation on a variety of topics, including Owens, Ed Hochuli, Matt Damon, and Tony Kornheiser (who seems to be losing the Monday Night Football-watching public more and more with each passing week).

Bill Simmons Chat (ESPN.com)

There was recently a little dustup at a Tacoma, Washington-area Hooters centering on a Steelers banner on display. No word on whether any Hooters Rooters were involved.

Steel-ightfully Tacky, Yet Unrefined (from the Post-Gazette's Blog N Gold

Pittsburgh XPlosion on the Move

The Pittsburgh XPlosion, our favorite Pittsburgh professional basketball team, was apparently a franchise free agent. Today, the XPlosion announced that they have jumped ship from the ABA and joined the CBA; the same CBA run into the ground by Isiah Thomas, the same CBA that has a team called the Atlanta Krunk Wolverines.

The CBA should prepare itself for an onslaught of Hooters Rooters, Bomb-Squadders, and former Runnin' Rebels. One word of caution, prospective Bomb Squad members: a former member alleges they never pay you (link to XPlosion message board thread. Yes, such a beast exists).

By the way, the league just had the annual draft. Please do yourself a favor and check the XPlosion's picks below:

PITTSBURGH XPLOSION

(1st round, 6th pick) – Kevin Pittsnogle (Forward, 6’11”, 250) West Virginia

(2nd round 16th pick) - Kelly Whitney (Forward, 6'8", 240) Seton Hall

(3rd round, 26th pick) - Tedric Hill (Center, 6'10", 240) Gulf Coast Community College

(4th round, 37th pick) - Hassan Adams (Guard, 6'4", 220) Arizona

(5th round, 47th pick) - Jai Lewis (Forward, 6'7", 275) George Mason

(6th round, 57th pick) - Carl Krauser (Guard, 6'2", 200) Pittsburgh

That's right, Pittsnogle and Krauser on the same team. Plus the Bomb Squad and the Rooters. What more could a fan ask for?

Is Barry Bonds a Top 5 Pirate?

MLB is currently in the midst of more corporate-branded, created controversy, this time being the DHL Hometown Heroes voting. Five candidates from each team were designated as "finalists". It is worth mentioning that some teams elected to have their finalists chosen by a board of experts. The board features, among other, former .149-hitting Bucco Orestes Destrade and embattled former ESPN employee Harold Reynolds.

The Pirates' All-Time Greatest Player will be announced on Wednesday, September 27. Their final five candidates, with PIRATE statistics only:

Roberto Clemente (18 seasons) : .317 Batting Avg; 240 HR, 3000 Hits, 1 MVP, 1 World Series MVP, 12 Gold Gloves, 12-time All Star, 4-time Batting Champion, 2 Championships
162 game averages: .317 BA -- 16 HR -- 87 RBI -- 6 SB

Ralph Kiner (7 1/4 seasons): .278 Batting Avg, 301 HR, 1091 Hits, 6-time All Star, 7-time HR King, 0 MVP, 0 Championships
162 game averages: .278 BA -- 44 HR -- 119 RBI -- 3 SB

Bill Mazeroski (17 seasons): .260 Batting Avg, 138 HR, 2016 Hits, 7-time All Star, 8 Gold Gloves, 2 Championships, and one big home run.
162 game averages: .260 BA -- 10 HR -- 64 RBI -- 2 SB

Willie Stargell (21 seasons): .282 Batting Avg, 475 HR, 2232 Hits, 7-time All Star, 1 MVP, 1 World Series MVP, 2-time HR King, 1-time RBI King, 2 Championships
162 game averages: .282 BA -- 33 HR -- 106 RBI -- 1 SB

Honus Wagner (18 seasons): .328 Batting Avg, 82 HR, 2967 Hits, 7-time Batting Champion, 5-time RBI Champion, 5-time Stolen Base Champion, 1 Championship. 0 All Stars or Gold Gloves - they did not exist.
162 game averages: .328 BA -- 5 HR -- 94 RBI -- 41 SB

My question to you: should Barry Bonds be on this list?

Barry Bonds (7 seasons): .275 Batting Avg, 176 HR, 984 Hits, 2 MVP, 2-time All Star, 3 Gold Gloves.
162 game averages: .275 BA -- 28 HR -- 89 RBI -- 40 SB

Remember, Bonds' Pirate statistics are still historically looked upon as "clean", regardless of what happened once he met Victor Conte. Check out his resume next to the other five. If I were to insert Barry in the place of another player, it would probably be Kiner. He played in Pittsburgh just a fraction longer than Bonds, and played on just one winning team. I am by NO means a Bonds fan, but I was certainly a Bonds fan from 1986-1992. Kiner hit a lot of home runs, and certainly posted some spectacular numbers, but had 0 MVPs to Bonds' 2 MVPs. Bonds also won 3 Gold Gloves and was a threat on the basepaths.

Historically, the Pirates have shunned Barry Bonds. He brings a negative energy to anything he is associated with, and if the Pirates have enough of one thing, it is negative energy. But looking at these numbers objectively, are we short-changing the impact Bonds had in Pittsburgh? I look forward to some spirited debate on this topic.

The Ryan Clark/Chris Henry Video

This is the concussion that probably contributed to Chris Henry's vomiting out of Reggie McNeal's window on Sunday night.

Marvin Lewis Issues a Warning to Bengals

Coach Marvin Lewis has finally issued a harsh warning to his misbehaving Cincinnati Bengals. All I can say is, "It's about time".

Immaculate Reception Ranked #1 by Fox

Fox Sports offered up their list of "The Top 50 Most Spectacular Football Plays of All Time", which I was able to catch tonight. This was a pretty entertaining hour full of memorable pro, college and high school plays...much more entertaining than the 92nd Pirates loss of the year that preceded it. If this is on again anytime soon, it's worth checking out.

The top three, in order:

3. The Music City Miracle

2. The Cal/Stanford Band Play

1. The Immaculate Reception

Harris' catch defeats John Madden's Raiders, thus the first recorded example of the Madden Curse

The Madden Curse...and Other Links O'the Day

Here are a few links I think you'll enjoy...I know they're not Pittsburgh-related, which automatically makes them imperfect, but they are enjoyable nonetheless.

Football means a lot to New Orleans. Football means a lot to New Orleans. Football means a lot to New Orleans. Football means a lot to New Orleans. Football means a lot to New Orleans. Football means a lot to New Orleans. Football means a lot to New Orleans. Football means a lot to New Orleans. There, I just recapped Monday Night Football for you.

Shaun Alexander goes down with a fracture in his foot...did the Madden Curse strike again? ESPN.com presents their year-by-year evidence of "the curse". I must admit, 2005 (Ray Lewis) was a pretty weak argument. No interceptions and missing the last game of the season doesn't exactly fall into the "curse" category.

Odell Thurman Arrest Video

Via our friends at Deadspin, here is a video of the now-infamous Odell Thurman arrest. As they point out, it is unfortunate that Chris Henry does not make an appearance in this clip.

Reader Submission: Enough Already...ENOUGH!

ENOUGH ALREADY…ENOUGH!

by DSpag4 from Fayette County

I’ve had it up to here with the crowd shots on Monday Night Football. If you can’t see me, I’m holding my hand over my head that stands 5’ 9 ¼” off of the ground.

It is easy to sit back and complain about things on Monday Night Football because so far, there is nothing that I have liked about it. The one thing that stands out, however, is the inordinate number of crowd shots that they cram down our throats from week to week. I can imagine the scenario in the production truck, “okay, screw the replay of the play that might be challenged, we have to show the screaming drunk guy with his face painted.”

Does ESPN think that football fans are so naïve? No they don’t, because the football fans are not their target audience. It is very obvious that they are targeting the non-football fans based on the number of popular musicians they want people to tune in for. I don’t want it to seem like I am on a high horse and that I am “offended” by this disloyalty to true football fans, but give it a rest already. I swear, if they cut away from Super-Jacked Ed Hochuli announcing a penalty, I am going to throw a brick through Raul’s big screen. And not one of those novelty Bad Call Bricks that were meant to whip at televisions and unsuspecting friends and relatives faces, I’m talking about a 25-pound mason block.
Hochuli has hit the weights even more this season

To digress a little, am I the only person on the planet that has the strong conviction that the Men’s Warehouse guy is a child molester? He probably goes up to ten year old boys and says “you’re gonna like the way you look, because I sure do. Would you like some candy?”

Cincinnati, Home of the Bengals and Car Vomit

In June of 2004, Cincinnati Bearcats basketball coach Bob Huggins was arrested on charges of drunk driving, and the arresting officer noted the vomit on Huggins' car door in the police report.

But at 3 AM this morning, the Cincinnati Bengals once again upped the ante in the NFL arrests pool. Linebacker Odell Thurman blew a .17, more than twice the legal limit, while driving rookie Reggie McNeal's 2007 Chevy Tahoe. If McNeal gave Thurman the keys, I can only imagine what he would have blown on the test.

The best part of the story is that of oft-troubled wide receiver Chris Henry. Fresh off a five-catch, 69-yard, 2-TD day against his arch rival, Mr. Henry joined his teammates to celebrate. And celebrate he did, Huggins-style, by vomiting out the window of the very Chevy Tahoe that Thurman was driving.

Thurman was driving on the other side of the yellow lines in Cincinnati's East End, so he's extremely lucky he didn't kill anyone. Thurman is already serving a four-game suspension for violating the league's substance abuse policy. But as long as Henry keeps catching those touchdowns against the Steelers for Marvin "Look the Other Way" Lewis, you'll see him in Bengal stripes for a long time.

Monday Morning Wrapup

There were many mismatched college football games this weekend, with teams having absolutely no chance of winning...Buffalo vs. Auburn, Middle Tennessee State vs. Oklahoma, The Citadel vs. Pitt, Rice vs. Florida State, Troy vs. Nebraska, Penn State vs. Ohio State....

I kid, I kid. You had to feel bad for Penn State. They put up a great defensive effort, only to be overshadowed by Joe Paterno's constant trips to the men's room. And Anthony Morelli threw touchdowns #2 and 3 that counted for the other side. The Valley is not Happy these days.

Pitt 51, The Citadel 6 - Pitt overcomes a roster headed by a player named "Palmer Kitna" en route to a romp on Saturday. Tyler Palko throws touchdowns #9, 10, 11 and 12...that DO count for Pitt.

Notre Dame 40, Michigan State 37 - I don't know what made me feel worse: watching Michigan State give up 19 unanswered points in the fourth quarter, or the haunting memory of a wet, soggy Charlie Weis roaming the sidelines.

Colts 21, Jaguars 14 - Nice knowing you for a week, Jags. Enjoy your return to the Pay No Mind list. Maybe you can still rank yourself high on the Jaguars.com Power Rankings this week.

Seahawks 42, Giants 30 - Someone should really tell the Giants that the first 45 minutes of the game count, too. Today they rattle off 27 in a row in a furious 4th quarter rally but come up 12 points short. Once again, I look to the football pundits, the paid experts that told us after last week's Giants game that Eli Manning had definitively arrived in the NFL. The same Eli Manning that would lead his team to a 42-3 hole after three quarters. Again, another example of great work by the experts.

This game also offered several milestones in the 2006 season:

1. The official moment when all fantasy players who drafted Shaun Alexander in the top two realize he's averaging about 60 yards a game this season.

2. The first benching of Plaxico Burress by Col. Tom Coughlin. His sideways-visor wearing on the sidelines was the key to the Giants' 4th-quarter heroics.

3. Jeremy Shockey calling out Coughlin for the first time this year, saying the Giants were "outcoached"

Broncos 17, Patriots 7 - Yep, Jake "256 yards and 2 TDs at New England" Plummer should definitely be benched for a rookie from Vanderbilt.

Dolphins 13, Titans 10 - Daunte Culpepper had another mediocre outing, throwing for just 168 yards in a nail biter against one of the NFL's worst teams. Say what you want about the real Culpepper, but the video version keeps getting his roll on in those Madden 2007 commercials. By the way, all you amateurs GMs who insisted the Steelers draft pudgy malcontent Lendale White, please note that he has a grand total of 24 yards on nine carries so far for the Titans.

Ravens 15, Browns 14 - The media hype for Baltimore's swagger being back was dead-on. When you give up 298 yards passing to Charlie Frye and still escape with a win, swagger away.

Panthers 26, Bucs 24 - This game was so bad for Tampa Bay, it cost Chris Simms his spleen. Nothing like an 0-3 start and a future of Tim Rattay and Bruce Gradkowski quarterbacking your team. Of course, Tampa wasn't going anywhere with Phil Jr., either. Maybe when Simms is in the hospital he can get that tattoo of another dude's initials lasered off his leg.

Trevor Hoffman notches record-setting save vs. Pirates - Unfortunately, Freddy Sanchez, the feel-good story in another year of feeling bad for the Pirates, was the final victim. The Buccos finished 2-4 on the road trip, with some impressive wins over an emotional Dodgers team and some close calls aginst the Padres.

Tonight: Falcons at Saints - If you're down for a few hours of ESPN patting themselves on the back while Joe Theismann speaks in cliched circles about what football means to New Orleans, knock yourself out with this one.

Steelers Upended by Bingles

The Cincinnati Bingles, as Phil Simms calls them, left Pittsburgh with a victory for the 2nd consecutive year. The game was a highly-anticipated shootout in the competitive rivalry of Ben Roethlisberger and Carson Palmer. Today's match featured a back-and-forth struggle between the young signal callers, with each trying to top the other in the "backbreaking turnover" category. Roethlisberger would laugh last, as his interception with 22 seconds to go would complete his hat trick for the day. If nothing else, the quarterback play proved that Anthony Morelli does have a future in the NFL.

It's time for a new treat. Bill Cowher will have some questions to be answered at his weekly press conference as well. I plan on asking the tough questions that I doubt will be asked on Tuesday. Here's a little preview of what I will ask our beloved coach:

"Bill, why do you think you could trust a punt returner who can't even pronounce his last name right?"

"On Willie Parker, do you plan on giving him the ball every play, or does it just seem that way?"

"After his performance today, any second thoughts on letting Plaxico Burress sign with the Giants?"

"Is Hines Ward on the team this year, or is he still touring Korea?"

"Seriously, how awesome was that Ryan Clark hit?"

"Are you aware Ben is on pace for 0 touchdowns and 38 interceptions this year?"

"Any concerns about how far you'll fall in Peter King's Fine Fifteen this week?"

"Was the signing of Najeh Davenport strictly for comedic purposes?"

"This was a rare loss when your team runs for 100 yards. What is your record when your team has five turnovers in a game?"

"Who had the final call on the style of gift wrap of today's game: Colclough or Roethlisberger?"

"Does Duce Staley have some dirt on you, or some naughty pictures? That's the only explanation I have left for why he's still around. Care to shed some light?"

"Are We still Dey? Or are Dey Dey again?"

Other thoughts from a disappointing Sunday:

-Was anyone else as annoyed as I was with Jim Nantz's statistical updates throughout the first half? Every minor milestone was related to last week's game..."They have three 1st downs...do you know how long it took them to get three 1st downs last week?"...no, Jim, please remind us again and again how bad the offense sucked last week.

-We had a Mike Logan sighting, with a timely taunting penalty in the midst of a fourth-quarter comeback attempt. That said, quite a lick put on by McKeesport Mike.

-Willie Parker is on pace for 378 carries. The all-time NFL record for carries in a season is Jamal Anderson with 410 for the 1998 Dirty Birds.

-Ben, the preseason is now complete. Hopefully you'll start to take these games seriously.

-Again, I repeat: the season is not lost. Right now, the issues are many, but there is still time to turn things around.

Football Fans are Obnoxious

I love football. LOVE it. But this past week made me realize all the things wrong with my favorite game.

The Steelers, reigning Super Bowl champions, lost a tough 9-0 game in Jacksonville. Jacksonville was a 12-4 team last year and a franchise that has traditionally given the Steelers fits. A loss should not have surprised anyone. Yet spoiled Steeler fans screamed like babies in the days afterwards, blaming the usual suspects: Quarterback, Coach, and Running Back.

I hear all the time about how smart Steeler fans are. So why are some of them already suggesting Najeh Davenport start in place of Willie Parker? Why are they saying Charlie Batch should have started, or at least came in as a reliever? Why are they blaming the coach? Because they aren't all smart fans.

Anyone with a modicum of football knowledge knows that the Steelers offensive line was being blown off the ball. Parker had nowhere to run; he was ducking tackles in the backfield. You can take Duce out of his sweats, you can pull Najeh from the dorm closet, you can ask Jerome to step out of the NBC booth, heck, you can call in Jim Brown from Cleveland's sidelines...but neither one would have had any more luck than Parker had on Monday.

Roethlisberger had little if any time to throw. The weak line play set up many 3rd-and-longs, when the defense knew the pass was coming. He has spent precious little time with the offense in game situations in the pre-season; an offense, keep in mind, that has several new contributors (Holmes, Washington, etc) that Ben has not yet meshed with. With all that in mind, as well as the fact that he did have some type of fever and he was just a short time removed from an appendectomy, his performance should not be much of a surprise. What if Cowher puts Batch in and the Steelers still lose? You have the same record and a still-rusty Roethlisberger going into a huge division game on Sunday. If the Steelers win? Cowher would then be asked when to bring Ben into the fold, since Batch would be 2-0 and the hot hand. Cowher had no choice; as long as Roethlisberger felt up to playing, he had to be in the game. You win with Ben, you lose with Ben. And as his 27-5 career record would indicate, you win with Ben most of the time.

The Steelers line was unable to block; they couldn't run, and they couldn't set up the pass. Sure, I was disappointed, as well as every other Steeler fan. But it was one game. GET OVER IT. There are 14 more to be played. This is a team that was 7-5 and on the edge of elimination last season and still won the Super Bowl. I don't think one loss to a quality opponent on their home field is anything that should cause the panic button to be pushed as frantically as it has this week.

When it comes to the voice of the fan, Steeler supporters are no better or worse than any other team's following. Denver, who went to the AFC Championship with Jake Plummer, wanted to bench him after week one. Dallas, who some picked to go to the Super Bowl with Drew Bledsoe, also had calls to bench him after week one. Football fans and patience are no longer a happy marriage. In fact, it's a divorce: football fans have no patience.

College fans are equally as impatient, if not worse. Larry Coker's career record with the Miami Hurricanes is 54-11. He was coach of the National Champions in 2001. He is on the hot seat. Phil Fulmer's career record at Tennessee is 130-38, winning the National Championship in 1998. He is on the hot seat. Lloyd Carr's career record at Michigan is 105-35, with a title in 1997. He is on the hot seat. Charlie Weis's record at Notre Dame is 11-4, the same as his predecessor, Tyrone Willingham, who was run out of town after just three seasons. Willingham was basically playing with previous coach Bob Davie's players. Which I find funny, because the players Weis has been winning with, including Brady Quinn, Jeff Samardzija , and Tom Zbikowski, were all Willingham recruits.

Even the patriarch of college football himself, Joe Paterno, was on the hot seat, as witnessed by such sites as Firejoepaterno.com. I assume all the loyal Penn State faithful have backed off the coach with a career mark of 358-118-3 after their 2005 season.

The ugliest part of football has been the downright scary nature of devoted "fans". Ohio State fans are allegedly some of the most loyal in sports. If that's the case, why would they taunt their own tight end with death threats last year after he dropped a touchdown pass against Texas?

As soon as the media identified the woman that hit Big Ben on his motorcycle, I correctly predicted that she would receive death threats from Steeler fans. Probably the same group of sickos that would find out Tommy Maddox's home address and litter it with trash. Let's just say our own fans hold their own with the crazies of the football world.

Most recently, the behavior of Oklahoma and their fans in the wake of their controversial loss at Oregon was equally appalling. For those of you who don't follow college football, all the replays for a huge onside kick call seemed to favor Oklahoma. The problem was that the official and the replay official were both from the PAC-10, Oregon's home conference. Oregon got the call, and Oklahoma got the "L". Totally unfair, but let us not forget a playoff game last season when a replay failed to produce the correct call on a Polamalu interception. Sometimes these things happen.

In the aftermath of the loss, Oklahoma was quite outspoken with their thoughts on the game. The President of OU, David Boren, the Governor of Oklahoma from 1975-79 and a U.S. Senator from 1979-94, called for the game to be struck from the record books. This is coming from a man who expressed public regret for his voting of Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. So you would think he knows that mistakes do happen.

Oklahoma has threatened to not play a scheduled game against Washington in 2008. And shortly thereafter, yep, you guessed it...the death threat of referee Gordon Riese from Oklahoma fans. It seems like death threats are so predictable in moments like these, you can set your watch to them.

This is not a Pittsburgh thing, this is not an Oklahoma thing, this is not a Columbus thing. This is a United States thing. In a country where football is presented as the be all and end all for most of our society, these things will continue to happen. Kids will continue to be harrassed by their teachers for wearing jerseys of opposing players; more death threats will be called in to players and referees; and the media will be right there with their Power Rankings, getting football fans' collective panties in a bunch when their team is ranked too low after week two.

An Evgeni Malkin Update

ESPN 1250 is reporting that Penguins rookie Evgeni Malkin is expected to miss 3-6 months with a seperated shoulder. The doctor has recommended surgery, and right now the Pens are seeking a second opinion.

For those of you who missed it, here is the hit again (video link).

By the way, ESPN 1250 has also reported that Mario Lemieux could be taking the Penguins back off the market in the near future. I can't say I blame him, especially after our new mayor reversed field on his arena stance after arriving in office.

Join the Hooters Rooters

A few weeks back, Stephon Marbury was visiting the Century III Mall to promote his new line of shoes, and your smart-mouthed host speculated that Marbury may have been signed by the Pittsburgh XPlosion. Well, the XPlosion did just sign Coleco Buie, but Marbury will be back in New York for another year of disappointing basketball with the Knicks.

While perusing the XPlosion website and checking their other links for future comedic purposes (such as a "store", filled with the five finest ABA league logo items on the planet), I stumbled on quite possibly the most absurd promotion in Pittsburgh sports history: The Pittsburgh XPlosion Hooters Rooters Bus. How this flew under the radar without comment to this point is simply unreal. This was a Blogger's Goldmine. I will let the XPlosion's website describe this experience in their own words:

"Before the game: Have dinner at your local Hooters, then ride the HOOTERS ROOTERS BUS to the game venue with the HOOTERS GIRLS!

During the game: Watch the Xplosion take on the best of the ABA in the special HOOTERS ROOTERS section with the HOOTERS GIRLS!

After the game: Ride the HOOTERS ROOTERS bus back to your local Hooters for the post-game party!"

Wow, I have about a million and one questions concerning this. Where do I begin? This is a team, that as far as their own website shows, looks like they average about 10 fans a game, with 8 of the 10 probably getting free tickets.

Any chance we can move the XPlosion to Kansas City?

So how many rabid XPlosion fans are planning an evening around not one, but TWO trips to Hooters, riding a bus with Hooters girls pretending to be interested in them, AND watching Armon Gilliam hoop it up? What does the attendance jump to, 15? Does Gilliam come back to Hooters for the post-game party and regale you with Jerry Tarkanian stories? Does anyone find it odd that this team not only has a scantily-clad "dance squad", they also have a cheering section of Hooters girls?

Most importantly- has anyone out there ever participated in this traveshamockery?

Here's some more facts you may not know about the XPlosion:

October 30, 2005 was proclaimed "Pittsburgh XPlosion Day". That Pittsburgh City Council sure has its priorities in order.
City Council was XPloding with pride last October

The XPlosion played the Steelers in an exhibition game on May 19. I've linked a photo of Louis Lipps on defense just for our devoted reader and commenting legend "Louis Lipps is My Homeboy".
Lipps inexplicably breaks into jumping jacks during the game

The XPlosion play in a division named after their owner, Freddie Lewis. Lewis played 11 seasons in the ABA and NBA and scored over 12,000 points, averaging 17 per game. He was a four-time All Star and a McKeesport High product.

The original Fred-Ex

According to their website, it sounds like the XPlosion are gearing up for season 2.0, so we'll have to keep an eye on their progress. Anyone out there who has been to an XPlosion game on on "the bus", please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

Tommy Maddox a Raider?

Turnover Tommy tried out with the Oakland Raiders, a true version of football's black hole, on Wednesday, just one day after showing off his arm for Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots as the possible successor to Tom Brady. If the Raiders choose not to sign the former XFL employee, they will go with WR Ronald Curry as the 3rd stringer.

I heard at the tryout, Art Shell had Tommy run a one-on-11 drill in which he had no blocking or protection. They wanted to simulate actual game conditions for a future Raider QB. Maddox will be signed and immediately be out 2-4 weeks.

Pirates Embarrassed on National TV, Again

No, it's not the 2006 team...they're actually on quite a roll of ruining other teams' seasons after ruining their own earlier in the year. I'm talking about the 1985 Pirates, those of the 57-104 record, made infamous by the Pittsburgh Drug Trials. Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, the HBO show made famous for Gumbel's statements about Gene Upshaw's status on the leash of Paul Tagliabue, will re-air an episode tonight (Thursday 9/21) at 7 PM EST on HBO about this infamous team. I caught this on an earlier airing this week and I would consider it a must-see for Pirate fans. Being that I was a mere eight years old when the trials were going on, all that I've heard to this point were through internet recaps.

Gumbel interviewed several key figures in the case, including former Pirate Parrot Kevin Koch and "The Cobra", Dave Parker. At one point, Gumbel was told an estimated 15-17 members of the 1985 team were using cocaine. Say what you want about the poor performance about the Pirates in recent years, but at least they do not embarrass the city like the 1985 group continues to do 21 years later.

Madden Offers Palmer Bounty

Pittsburgh Radio Legend and noted Bengal Hater Mark Madden of ESPN Radio 1250 has offered a $100 bounty on the head of Bengals QB Carson Palmer. He has opened up the offer to Steeler fans as well as players, saying that "he doesn't want Palmer to end up in a wheelchair for life, just go off on the big truck".

Apparently word of this has made it to Cincinnati where their fans are taking this news as a legitimate threat to Palmer. Click here for the Cincinnati message board thread.

I know some of you dislike Madden, and I don't always agree with him, but he is an absolute must listen on a week such as this. For you out of towners, you can listen live from 3-7 EST.

Joey Porter's Dogs Ate Barbero

Well, not really. But J Peezy's two Pit Bulls did kill a 29" Miniature Horse on Tuesday. Worst of all, this news came in the same week that Chad Johnson challenged him to meet at the 50 yard line before the game on Sunday. What's next, T.J. Houshmandzadeh steals his golf cart?

Who Are Dey, Anyway?

If there is one team that's really managed to get under my skin in recent memory, it's the Cincinnati Bengals. Yes, I'm well aware that they won the AFC North last year, and I'm sure they enjoy showing off their AFC North Champions Rings to all their friends and relatives.

Bengals players enjoy telling us tales of their greatness, shining their shoes with Terrible Towels (video link), and proclaiming they're the color TV to our black and white.

But Bengals fans may be the most obnoxious in recent memory. Obviously, they must enjoy a winning record on the rare occasion when they have it, because they have a grand total of 12 in their 36-year history. They bring to mind Red Sox fans after winning the 2004 World Series. The Red Sox finally win a title and they make up for a near-century worth of falling short by talking nonstop garbage the entire offseason. Heck, the Marlins have won more titles in the last 80 years, and they've only been around since 1993. But at least the Red Sox won the championship. The Bengals couldn't even win a home playoff game. I know, I know, Carson Palmer got hurt, the Bengals felt too much pressure leading 17-7, and they had to referee a Chad Johnson halftime fight. Correct me if I'm wrong, but did a certain three-time Super Bowl winning QB not get knocked out of an even bigger game against the Steelers on the road (the 2001 AFC Championship), yet their team still won? But I digress...I want to know more about where the Bengals get all the ammunition for their boasting.

I want to answer the question "Exactly who are dey?"

Dey have one former player in the Hall of Fame

Dey have averaged a 5-11 record since 1990

Dey had the WORST FANS IN SPORTS as recently as 2003

Dey were ranked as the WORST FRANCHISE IN SPORTS as recently as 2003

Dey drafted Ki-Jana Carter #1 overall

Dey drafted Dan Wilkinson #1 overall

Dey drafted Akili Smith #3 overall

Dey drafted Peter Warrick #4 overall

Dey drafted David Klingler #6 overall

Dey have one playoff appearance in the last 15 years

Dey have an all-time record of 258-334-1

Dey have won 0 Super Bowls

Who Dey?

I think Mr. William Laird Cowher could best answer that question

Quick Link Roundup

Some good stuff for you today:

The Post Gazette's Blog and Gold is a web-only feature that is described as "an informal and sometimes off-beat look at the Steelers this season." Well, Mondesi's House is certainly informal and off-beat, so we were the recipient of a nice mention in yesterday's B&G with the recap of the Monday Nighter. You can check out Blog and Gold here.

Big news at the Sports Pickle: "Jaguars coming out party not nearly as gay as some other coming out parties". Also, Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis vows a hunger strike if the Irish lose again. Catch all this and more at The Sports Pickle.

Mondesi Readers Hate ESPN

Today's Dwyane Wade Reader Submission set off a domino effect in the comments section. We now have a running list of 50 reasons why Mondesi readers hate all things ESPN. But we are mere amateurs in our hatred for the Worldwide Leader.

The college football website Everyday Should be Saturday came up with a list entitled "52 Reasons Why I Hate ESPN". This was originally posted on November 29, 2005, and there are now over 1,100 comments, with some comments as recent as today!

When I originally found this post sometime last year, it took me about an hour to get through. It is one of the funniest pieces I've ever read on the internet, period. An absolute must read.

Finally, Some Respect for the Jaguars

Well, the Jaguars are finally #1 in a Power Ranking Poll...it's the totally objective and highly respected Power Ranking Poll on Jaguars.com.

By the way, Mike Peterson, don't proclaim your team as the the new bully just yet. Anyone remember who said this comment after week 12 last year?

"It's time for a change. It's like going from a black and white TV to a color TV. It was Pittsburgh; it's Cincinnati now, and it'll probably be that way for a while now."

Jaguars Upend Steelers, Presumably Will Jump in Knee-Jerk Power Rankings

The Jacksonville Jaguars upended the Super Bowl Champions last night by a score of 9-0 in the lowest scoring Monday Night Game in NFL history. Thankfully, the combination of Mike Tirico, Tony Kornheiser, and Joe Theismann was able to divert my attention from the action on the field.

The trio, Theismann especially, seemed to be infatuated with the Jaguars, as if they just discovered their existence. Personally, I never knew Jacksonville had a team. I always thought they were the Johnsonville Jaguars. But I was then told that Johnsonville is actually the company that makes bratwurst. I never said I was perfect.

So all we hear about is how the national media ignores Jacksonville all the time. I find this ironic, since the sports media is about 90% represented by the very network airing this game. Theismann kept hitting us over the head with Jack Del Rio's greatness, predicting other coaches will soon emulate the Jaguars' leader. That's right, a guy with 28 career wins, including zero in the playoffs, will be copied by all the other egomaniacal coaches in the league trying to win with their own systems. Tell us more, Carnac.

"Joey T" also failed to mention that Jacksonville plays in the same division as a team that hard-headed pundits continue to pencil in for the Super Bowl every year, regardless of their annual playoff failures. So if you can build hype around a preseason prediction of being a wild card team every year, go nuts with it.

As one of the wonderful Mondesi readers has already pointed out, Dwyane Wade made an unnecessary appearance in the booth in the 2nd quarter. When the crew asked Wade if he ever met Big Ben, and he said yes, I swear on a stack of bibles that I predicted the answer: at the ESPYs. I have two witnesses to this, if anyone need question my foresight of corporate synergy just seconds in advance. Predictably, Wade gave a series of safe, uninteresting non-answers. Good thing you didn't guarantee a victory in the Olympics two years from now, Dwyane. You'll never be confused with Charles Barkley in the personality department. But what did ESPN expect? Is this going to be a regular bit? Last week, we got Steamin' Willie Beamon a.k.a. Jamie Foxx (and surprisingly, not TomKat). And with next week's pregame concert of Green Day and U2, anyone want to put odds on a Bono appearance in the booth?

As we merge from the booth into the game, we cross into Big Ben territory. Before kickoff, ESPN reported Large Benjamin had a 104-degree temperature. Honestly, I had some doubts about that, although his play did little to change my mind. Thankfully, we got a crash course in appendectomies from Dr. Michelle Tafoya (video link here).

Roethlisberger just missed Hines Ward on a deep pass in the 1st quarter, which Theismann proclaimed as "Ben being rusty". Then, later in the game (I think around the 3rd quarter), Theismann made this comment after a gutsy Ben play: "Ben is back. He's all the way back. He's ready to go."

Other thoughts from the Mind of Mondesi:

-Ben did not look 100%, especially in the 4th quarter. He has made his name through his late-game heroics, and those two interceptions were very uncharacteristic. A healthy Big Ben would have willed his way down the field and the Steelers would have won, 7-6. But in losing just his 5th career game, I could not have been more impressed with his accountability afterwards. Kordell and Tommy Maddox he is not.

-Disappointing showing by the running game. I know Jacksonville has a vaunted defense, but the lack of a consistent rushing attack is usually the kiss of death for a Cowher team.

-I thought they were going to Santonio Holmes too much, especially in crucial 3rd down spots. Rookie receivers simply cannot be counted on to contribute, with the exception of a handful of players in the history of the NFL. In most cases, they have not absorbed the playbook and they don't run the crispest of routes.

-That was not the Troy Polamalu we've come to know last night. His pain was obvious.

-Big game coming up on Sunday. Check back for plenty of Bengals/Steelers info throughout the week. And remember, the season is not lost. It was one game, and frankly, a loss that should not be a surprise, all things considered.

Reader Submission: Dwyane Wade During a Steeler Game?

While the Mondesi's House internet recovers from its outage last night, here is a reader submission on the Steeler game from frustrated Steeler fan/Mondesi Reader Cecil from Cecil Twp. My full game wrapup will be up later today. Thanks again to Atlantic Broadband for their excellent internet service.

"Dwyane Wade...During a Steeler Game?"

I cannot stand ESPN's vast over-commercialization of all things content-related. If you're gonna read an article on their web site, there's always an expandable banner ad in front of your face. If you're gonna watch something on their network, I promise you that whatever you're watching is "brought to you by Mobile ESPN."

Now they have Monday Night Football, and sadly, a captive audience of tens of millions of people were forced to sit through a commercial for ESPN/ABC's NBA broadcast package as Dwayne Wade inexplicably joined Mike Tirico and the broadcast crew in the booth during the 2nd quarter on Monday night's game.

Wade was so irrelevant a guest, he actually admitted that this Steelers-Jaguars game was the first professional football game he'd ever attended. I appreciate his honesty, but....there is no reason to have this man in the booth!

We already have to listen to one man who has no idea what's happening on the field (Kornheiser), why do we need another?

I'll tell you why. Because ESPN sees an opportunity to promote it's NBA telecasts in two non-NBA markets and across the entire country. I have no problem with such promotion occurring during a regularly scheduled commercial break. However, when I'm trying to watch Big Ben keep his bowels in proper working order against the Jaguars, I become extremely annoyed with an unwanted and unnecessary intrusion like the Dwayne Wade interview.


Yet another reason why I hate ESPN.

How John Henderson Gets Ready for a Game

Yep, this is who's going to be chasing Big Ben tonight.

http://media.putfile.com/John-Henderson-Pre-game

Monday Morning Wrapup

To start off, on a serious note...I really hope they catch the low-life that shot five Duquesne basketball players early Sunday morning. Keep those players in your thoughts and prayers.

Thoughts from a weekend of football excess...

Michigan State 38, Pitt 23- I can't for the life of me recall the names of the two chuckleheads announcing this game, but they had perhaps the greatest announcing line of all time. After a facemask against Michigan State, we were treated to this gem:

"When you see that neck go backwards, it's almost usually all the time a penalty."

That's exactly what the announcer said. I couldn't believe it myself, thus I wrote it down. An all time classic.

Later on, the same guy offered up "H.B. Blades...H.B. must stand for How Bout That!"

Actually, that would be H.B.T. Blades. But thanks for trying to be cute.

And even better, the same announcer kept referring to Pitt OL Jeff Otah as "Jeff Utah". He was probably watching the 1991 classic film Point Break last night and got him confused with Keanu Reeves' character, former Ohio State QB-turned-secret agent "Johnny Utah". If he would have mentioned Bodie playing alongside him, that would have confirmed my thoughts.
Otah, Utah...tomato, tomahto

And who could forget this memorable exchange between the sideline reporter and MSU coach John L. Smith before halftime:

Reporter: "What are your thoughts on your team's lack of discipline in the first half, with their five penalties?"

Smith: "I have no thoughts."

As for the game itself, it wasn't nearly as exciting as the announcing. Pitt actually went to the half tied 10-10, but completely self-destructed in the second half. The West Virginia game later this year is looking downright scary at this point. Hopefully the Wannstache can get the running game going as well as finding some way to stop, or at least slow down, the run on the defensive side.

Michigan 47, Notre Dame 21- The national media is dead-on again. The Notre Dame defense is not as bad as everyone thought... it's worse. Mario Manningham and Mike Hart annihilated the Irish for a combined 261 yards and four touchdowns. Michigan put up 34 in the first half. And Brady Quinn, in a Powlus-esque performance, tossed three INTs and added a fumble for good measure. Plus, we got to see Charlie Weis, a member of my inaugural class of "Head Coaches with Belts Holding on For Dear Life Hall of Fame". He was inducted alongside charter members Bill Parcells and Andy Reid.
One...
Two...
Three models of fitness

Louisville 31, Miami 7 - Miami started the day by stomping on the Louisville logo, which was dead-on...there was certainly some stomping to be done on this day. To the joy of nearly the entire nation, it was Miami that was stomped, turning in another weak performance. If a college team could purchase the bottled apathy of the Oakland Raiders, it looks like the Hurricanes already bought a truckload of it.

But there were some serious individual downsides to this game. Louisville, who had previously lost future Steeler RB Michael Bush for the season, lost QB Brian Brohm for the next 3-6 weeks. And Larry Coker's career record at Miami dropped to a hideous 54-11 (.831), with many obnoxious, spoiled alumni calling for his head.

Baltimore 51, Oakland 3- Not the real score...just football genius Peter King's prediction. This is the same guy that picked Detroit over Seattle in week one, and recommended that fantasy owners play Chris "6 INTs" Simms in week two. The same guy who picked Dallas to win this year's Super Bowl (over the Patriots, of course) and then proclaimed they have a QB controversy after one game.

All he is good for is perpetuating the myth of the "football expert". Whether the name be Schlereth, Salisbury, Jaworski, Theismann, et al., they are all the same. They have no more insight than you or I. Don't forget, the ONLY analyst that even gave the Steelers even a chance against the Colts in the playoff last year was Merrill Hoge, and he picked them to win every week, so that shouldn't even count.

Chicago 34, Detroit 7- I hope Roy Williams keeps his day job as a football player, because he can't pick winners or losers either. Williams, who previously stated that "the Lions left 40 points on the field" in their 9-6 week one loss to Seattle, guaranteed victory for the Lions over the Bears today. You might want to choose your words more carefully in the future, Mr. Williams, especially when you have a defense capable of giving up four TD passes to Rex Grossman. Yes, the same Rex Grossman who had five career TD passes in three seasons.

Dallas 27, Washington 10 - I've seen the Redskins play more than the Steelers so far this season, and I still can't figure out how Daniel Snyder continues to pay such big money for such a crap team. In addition to overpaying for free agents like Antwaan Randle El, he now overpays for assistant coaches, like $2 million per year for offensive genius Al "One Offensive Touchdown in Two Weeks" Saunders. I know, Clinton Portis didn't play. But this team is going nowhere fast with Marky Mark Brunell at QB.

Cincinnati 34, Cleveland 17 - Romeo Crennel apparently drafted Pitt's entire run defense and started all of them on Sunday, because they couldn't stop Rudi Johnson to save their collective lives. Johnson racked up 145 yards and two scores, and the Browns' tackling in the second half could not have been worse. In other news, Chad Johnson guaranteed he would have 75 yards receiving and do the chicken dance when he scored. His predictions were 100% accurate. Now let him get back to sleeping at the stadium.

Patriots 24, Jets 17- Jets coach Eric Magina, a future member of the "Head Coaches with Belts Holding on For Dear Life Hall of Fame", nearly pulled off the upset, falling seven points short after a furious second half comeback. A Jets win would have been nice for a Pats Hater like myself. But if only we could've only had a few hundred more shots of the Jets fireman guy, I would have been really happy. I mean, give the guy some exposure already!
J-E-T-S S-U-C-K

Reggie Bush vs. Mario Williams Update - A weekly briefing on the wisdom of passing on Reggie Bush. Especially when your backfield is Wali Lundy, Jameel Cook, Ron Dayne and Samkon Gado:

Week One: Williams: 2 tackles; Bush: 67 yds rushing, 52 receiving

Week Two: Williams: 2 tackles (4 season); Bush: 5 yds rushing (72 season), 68 receiving (120 season)

Pirates Muck Fets- The Pirates not only swept the likely NL World Series rep, they guaranteed a .500 home record (not a guarantee like Roy Williams made....this was, like, a statistical guarantee) and clinched a non-100 loss season today.

Zach Duke looked like his pre-face-scribbling self (link to more pics), tossing eight innings of shutout ball while striking out six.
Would you call the confused onlooker in blue "The guy behind the guy"?

All my rowdy friends are here on Monday Night - Steeler fans are finally treated to a night of Mike Tirico, Mr. Tony, and Joe Theismann. And I am assuming the typical pregame inexplicably featuring Sally Wiggin. Actually, I'm looking forward to the game. Big Ben should be back, Troy will be playing, and the Dump Truck will dress for the first time. By the way, how horrible is Duce Staley that he got lapped on the depth chart by a guy cut from the Packers?

With all the Jaguar talk this week, I had vivid flashbacks to September 22, 1997. I was in my first month living in a fraternity house, and was looking forward to my first Monday Night Steeler game with my brothers. The game was tight, but the Steelers had a chance. It was late in the 4th quarter, the Jags were up, 23-21, but the Steelers were driving. They moved the ball to the Jacksonville 22 yard line, and the usually reliable Norm Johnson lined up for a 39-yard field goal. The attempt was blocked by Clyde Simmons and returned 58 yards for a touchdown by Chris Hudson. As Hudson ran past Mr. Bill for a game-ending touchdown, Cowher cocked his fist, helpless in yet another defeat to their new rivals.

Immediately after the gut-wrenching loss, two of my fraternity brothers (from New England, of course), decided to taunt another of our members, who I could only describe as a "volatile" Steeler fan who had indulged in a few adult beverages that night. Let's just say some furniture was thrown. And the future Mondesi was truly introduced to life in a fraternity house.

Go Steelers.

10 Reasons to Watch the Penguins

I know we're in the midst of another exciting season of smashmouth Pittsburgh Steeler championship football, but there's another developing situation in the city's sports scene that deserves some attention. No, I'm not talking about Charlie Batch leading the NFL in passing; I'm talking about Pittsburgh Penguins hockey.

The Penguins may or may not be here by this time next year, but if this turns out to be their final season in Pittsburgh, it should be a memorable one. I know some Pittsburghers have sports

tunnel-vision this time of year. But to those of you only worried about pigskin matters, I ask you to give Penguins hockey a chance. You will be pleasantly surprised.

If you need some factual evidence why you should pay attention, here are 10 Reasons to Watch the Penguins:

10. Jordan Staal - He may make the team this year, he may not, but eventually Staal will be a star in the NHL. As a birthday present from his new teammates, Staal was treated to a public caning via hockey sticks in front of 1,200 onlookers at training camp. And he can look forward to a future of comparisons to his older brother Eric, a la the Manning brothers, for the rest of his career. Which means we'll see the hockey equivalent of Archie Manning roughly 700 times the in first game where his sons face each other.

Jordan Staal: now he's legal

9. John LeClair- LeClair, in his 52nd NHL season, brings a veteran presence to "the room". He occasionally spins yarns of hockey days gone by to the young Penguins; like in 1998, when he played on a U.S. Olympic team that finished sixth at the Olympics and trashed a series of Nagano hotel rooms.

This plastic likeness is actually more flexible than its real-life counterpart

8. Jarkko Ruutu - As Mark Madden would say, "There's no I in team, but there are three U's in Ruutu". Ruutu is a muckracker that Pittsburghers will love...in fact, they may already love him. The picture below shows Marty Straka retaliating to a hit Ruutu laid on Jaromir Jagr at the Olympics. So for those who still hold a grudge against The Mulleted One, this Ruutu's for You.

The first of many retaliatory shots you'll see taken at Ruutu this season

7. Sergei Gonchar - The 32-year old defenseman has a lot on his shoulders. First, he has the burden of living up to a five-year, $25 million contract. On top of that, he now has the added responsibility of watching after countryman Evgeni Malkin in his rookie season. Upon hearing the news, Gonchar immediately called Maurice Clarett and asked for his advice on buying a bulletproof vest.
Clarett would recommend the Kevlar IIA

6. Colby Armstrong - He was Robin to Sidney Crosby's Batman last season, scoring 40 points in 47 games last year. But his role for this season is not yet cast in stone, as evidenced by his two-way contract that includes a provision for Armstrong being sent to the minors.

While Armstrong is a gritty, exciting player, I have to admit, there's not too much out there on his off-ice life. He seems to be a pretty normal, down-to-earth guy, which translates to "Blogger's Nightmare". If he wants more coverage in the Blogosphere, he needs to do something extreme. Like buy a Bentley. Or date Sally Wiggin. Or invite some NFL players to a party in the Strip District. And watch his popularity skyrocket.

5. Brooks Orpik - In Orpik's short career, he has acheived some level of infamy. You see, in the 2005 campaign, ol' Brooksie intentionally checked Carolina's Erik Cole from behind, crashing him into the boards and fracturing his C5 vertebra. Cole was knocked out for the remainder of the season, only returning for Game Six of the Stanley Cup Finals.

But here's the best part of the story: the Penguins traded Mark Recchi to Carolina to take Cole's spot in the roster a few days later. Upon his arrival, Orpik asked Recchi for Cole's phone number in order to apologize. Cole declined. Circle October 14th on your calendar, as they will have a little reunion planned.

4. Mad Mike Therrien - The Penguins' head coach brings a fiery temper behind the bench for a second season. Some believe he is on a short leash because he was not hired by the Penguins' new GM, Ray Shero. So Therrien will be under a certain degree of pressure to win now. Which goes against the Penguins' strategy the last four seasons, which is to finish low enough to draft first or second the following year and build a SuperTeam of Crosby, Malkin, Fleury and Staal.

Therrien wonders how he could possibly translate all these top draftees into wins

3. Marc-Andre Fleury - No, he doesn't have a 15-year contract. But the giggly Canadian can finally look forward to a full season in the Burgh, with no more shuttling back and forth to and from the minors. Fleury will build upon a 2005 season in which he posted a 3.25 goals-against average and 13 wins. Hopefully he'll be able to crack the 20-win barrier, a milestone not achieved by a Pens goalie since Johan Hedberg in 2001. 20 wins is even more foreign a concept to our baseball team, who hasn't had a 20-game winner since the legendary John Smiley in 1991.

Never before have yellow pads looked better on a bobblehead

2. Evgeni Malkin - Where, oh where, do we start with Malkin?

The Russian Mafia?

Being smuggled out of Finland?

Sleeping with a hockey stick in his bed growing up?

His prison-themed restaurant in Russia?

Being the best player not in the NHL in 2005?

To say the least, Malkin will be a fun storyline this year. He's been compared to everyone from Jean Beliveau to Mario Lemieux. And it will be interesting to see him on the power play with Crosby. But most intriguing will be his adjustment to a city that keeps everything in perspective. A city with priorities. A city that gives a thunderous ovation when a football player emerges from a Port-a-john.

No one rocks a jean jacket like Malkin

1. Sidney Crosby - Does anyone have a copy of the NHL by-laws? I want to look up the rule that says the Penguins must have the most exciting player in the game at all times. The rule came into existence in 1984, when the Pens drafted some guy from the Laval Voisins. The rule came up once again in 1990, when Pittsburgh selected an 18-year-old mulleted Czech named Jaromir Jagr. And in 2005, the Penguins literally won the lottery and had Crosby fall into their lap.

Crosby energized a lethargic franchise with a magnetic personality that popped up everywhere from The Tonight Show to Reebok ads. He did not disappoint on the ice either, becoming the youngest player to ever score 100 points, breaking Mario Lemieux's Penguins rookie scoring record in the process.

Unfortunately, Crosby was not that impressive in the eyes of one Wayne Gretzky, who happened to be GM of Team Canada in the Olympics. Gretzky had the task of assembling a seventh-place team, which he pulled off without a hitch. A roster full of Todd Bertuzzis and Shane Doans is better suited for the seventh-place team than a roster full of Sidney Crosbys and Eric Staals.

But what the Great One didn't realize is that he added an Exxon station to the fire that burns in the belly of the hockey prodigy born on 8/7/87. If Crosby has any of Richard Nixon in him, he has an enemies list. I'm sure every member of the Flyers is already on that list; and now Gretzky's name has just been etched onto it as well.

I don't know about you, but I think watching Crosby prove Gretzky wrong on a nightly basis will be a fantastic reason to watch the Pens this year.

Crosby reminds everyone of his draft position